The 163,417,413th Soulslike Hero 2

Chapter 2 – The Full Story That No One Cares About

My name is Park Jeong-yong. Age 24. If I had to pick an occupation, I’m a construction worker. Single.

No one would care about how I died, so I’ll summarize it briefly.

I live what you’d call a hopeless life. High school graduate, living day by day on manual labor wages.

No savings to speak of, and in this Hell-Joseon era, no plans to marry either. I was just planning to live and die like this. [1]

Then one day, a dark-blonde beauty approached me.

“Want to try a part-time job with an amazing hourly rate?”

I agreed.

It took less than 3 seconds to decide, based on the following:

First, she was beautiful.

Second, she was beautiful.

And third…

“It’s a job that requires dedicating your entire life… but in exchange, you could get everything you want. How about it?”

Her cryptic words had some strange power… or rather, thinking back, it was probably just because she was pretty.

Even saying the same crazy things, coming from pretty lips made them incredibly persuasive.

Call me shallow. I am shallow.

Call me a sucker. I am a sucker.

“Well then, shall we sign the contract?”

I signed it right there and even stamped it with my freaking fingerprint. On the surface, it looked like a normal contract.

When I stamped it, I thought I saw the contract glow ominously, but at the time I thought it was my imagination.

Now I wish it had been my imagination.

“Ah! Finally filled my quota. That took forever.”

The dark-blonde woman with the white face, whose smile suited her so well, said this while stretching. Then with an innocent face, she continued:

“Thanks to you, I can finally escape this garbage dump Hell-Joseon. Thank you, hero candidate.”

Her crude words startled me for a moment, but I wrote it off as her being casual. Usually, if someone’s pretty, that much is forgivable.

But no matter how pretty she was, her next action was absolutely unforgivable. Even a saint would have slapped her.

“Shall we go to work, candidate?”

Still wearing that innocent smile, she simply pushed me into the middle of the road.

“… What the?”

That short exclamation became my last words.

Because immediately, a 5-ton dump truck was rushing toward me from the opposite direction.

Crash, bang. 

Whether it was the dump truck or me, something was thoroughly destroyed, and when I hazily regained consciousness, I was already lying on the ground, dying.

“Oh yeah! Strike!”

The blonde beauty… no, that shit-haired bitch’s words as she clenched her fist still spring vividly from my memory.

… But you.

While your mouth is split in a grin.

Why are you crying?

* * *

“Huh?!”

When I came to my senses, I was in a dark plaza.

A vast plaza that would make the World Cup Stadium look tiny. The sky was pitch black as if covered by a barrier, and below it, light sources of unknown origin glowed faintly. Just enough light to barely make out objects.

“Where…?”

Looking around, I noticed bonfires burning in drum barrels.

Various types of people were gathered in groups around them. People around me wore bewildered expressions like mine, while further away, most people stared blankly at the bonfires with vacant eyes.

I looked down at my trembling hands.

“Am I… not dead?”

A dream? No way.

That vivid sensation of death couldn’t have been a dream. Dreams are made of imagination.

How could that horrific, dark sensation that far exceeded my imagination be a dream?

“Are you conscious?”

“Huh?!”

Someone tapped my shoulder and spoke to me – None other than that shit-haired bitch.

The very person who killed me, according to my memory, had appeared before me.

“You, you shit-haired…! How dare you…!”

What a nerve to show your face! Any questions about the current situation melted away like snow before her face.

Instead, endless rage welled up. My already boiling anger erupted like a volcano when I saw her composed face. I immediately clenched my fist and aimed for her face.

I’m uneducated, so I don’t give special treatment to women.

“Gender equality punch!!”

My punch, thrown with all my heart, struck her face directly. A dull thudding sound rang out.

“Ow, shit!”

I jumped up clutching my shattered hand.

My knuckles were scraped and bleeding. I stared at the shit-haired bitch with bewildered eyes, unable to believe what had happened.

A transparent barrier was spread out in front of her smiling face. Even seeing it, I couldn’t believe it and let out an exclamation without thinking.

“… Huh?”

“Don’t get too angry. You agreed to the contract yourself. You said you’d bet your entire life.”

The Shit-hair waved her hand dismissively. For someone who just suffered a sudden violent death, this was truly an infuriating response.

Regardless, she glanced at my hand and casually extended hers.

“Restoration.”

A clear light burst from the Shit-hair’s hand. It happened in an instant.

The light enveloped my hand and seeped in, and the wound began healing at an incredible speed.

“What the hell?!”

I cursed reflexively at something that would make Schweitzer kick open his coffin lid. 

I stared blankly at my hand that had regenerated in the blink of an eye. It was perfectly clean as if there had never been a wound.

Soon, her wide-open eyes fixed on the snickering Shit-hair.

“Hey, Shit-hair. Who… exactly are you?”

Despite asking seriously, she frowned and questioned me back instead.

“Shit-hairl? Why am I Shit-hair?”

“Because your hair is dung-colored.”

Strictly speaking, it’s not dung-colored but closer to dark blonde. So actually, rather than dung-colored, it’s more like diarrhea-colored… Um. I’ll stop there.

Seeing my determined face, she seemed to resign herself to the nickname, sighing before answering.

“My name is Minerva. I’m one of the servants of the Seven Aspect Goddesses who oversee the Paraiso continent.”

“Forget the name, just tell me what’s going on right now, Shit-hair.”

“… Ah yes. Call me whatever you want. Hmph.”

When I muttered threateningly, Shit-hair shrugged her shoulders. Then her form slowly began to dissolve before me.

“Looks like you need to cool your head? Call me again when you’ve calmed down. Well then.”

With those final words, Minerva vanished without a trace.

I had to let out an exasperated exclamation at the situation that ended so abruptly.

“… What is this. Really…”

With nowhere to direct my anger, I sat down on the spot. And started looking around bewilderedly.

A dark, damp, black space so vast you couldn’t tell where it ended. Drum barrels with fires lit inside were scattered throughout the plaza. Men and women of all varieties and unique characteristics stared vacantly at the fires while burning kindling.

It feels like I might get my organs stolen if I look away for a moment.

“… Whoa.”

That would be fine by itself. But looking closely at the faces, there were quite a few beings that seemed closer to monsters than humans.

It took quite some time to adjust to that fantasy-filled sight.

“……”

“……”

Everyone had the same dead eyes. In those dark eyes, only the afterimages of the drum barrel fires flickered instead of vitality.

I know those eyes. That’s exactly the face I make when I look in the mirror. The eyes of a discarded life that’s seen it all. It’s so familiar it makes me want to throw up.

Then at some point in that silence where time seemed to stand still.

“Unterland unexplored wasteland! Recruiting twenty warriors!”

Boom boom boom boom. The ground rumbled as someone emerged shouting in the center of the plaza. It was an earth golem in the form of a sturdy man. Similar to the ‘golems’ that often appear in games.

And a giant gate that emerged with the golem opened wide. Inside, a multicolored array of lights shone brightly as if tempting us.

“… Hmm?”

In that moment, I detected people’s fighting spirit shining sharper than blades. 

I opened my eyes wide in the suffocating atmosphere that was piercing me from all sides.

And by the time I noticed, it was already too late.

“I’m the one going in this time! Please!”

“I’m first, you bastard!”

“Get lost!”

“Aaaaah!”

Rumble! People suddenly sprang from their seats and started running towards the gate.

It was like watching a flock of chicks being sucked into a grinder. A somewhat grotesque sight. I unconsciously frowned.

“What is this…!”

Hundreds of people running desperately as if it were a matter of life and death. Colliding, breaking, being trampled, hitting, destroying – it was pure chaos.

And I was among those being broken, trampled, and crushed.

Swept up in the tremendous crowd and knocked down, I was trampled by countless people.

“Aaack! Wait, time out! St-stop! Person! There’s a person here! Help!!”

My vision grew distant as the sensation of being hit by a truck returned. Terror suddenly rushed over me.

At that moment, a black shadow fell over me. Looking up dazedly, I saw a house-sized turtle-human moving its foot towards me. I felt dizzy for a moment.

‘I’m, I’m going to die.’

The turtle-human’s broad sole draws closer with each passing second. No. I can’t die like this. Help. Someone please…!

I flailed and reached out my hand, and.

“Oh my. Are you alright?”

There was someone who firmly grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

He was a middle-aged man with dead eyes like everyone else, but his legs, revealed below his shorts, were glossy and smooth like a frog’s.

First a turtle-human and now a frog-human. I was startled for a moment, but after experiencing so many shocking events until now, I could quickly regain my composure at that level.

“Looking at your appearance, you must be new? You’ve had it rough right from the start, haven’t you? My apologies.”

The man dusted off my clothes a few times, then suddenly raised his voice at the problematic turtle-human who had been running ahead.

“Craneid! You almost crushed someone just now! Come here and apologize properly!”

At that, the waddling turtle-human who had been hurriedly running stopped abruptly.

That mountain-like bulk suddenly turned to look at me. His body was similar to a turtle’s but walked on two legs which was surprising enough. His head resembled a dragon more than a turtle, which was also surprising in how intimidating it was.

“Huh? What is it, Mr. Frog? I’m busy.”

“You need to be more mindful of your size when you move. This friend almost died because of you.”

“What’s with that weakling? If he dies, it’s his own fault for being weak. Why would that be my fault?”

The turtle-human responded unreasonably while snorting. Then he looked towards the emerged gate with a frown.

“Wait! Line up, respected heroes, line! Enter one at a time slowly! Hey! I said enter slowly!”

The golem guarding the gate frantically tried to control the situation, but it had no effect at all.

The gate, which had already sucked in dozens of people like a black hole, emitted a satisfying light once and then slowly closed. The capacity had been exceeded.

The golem, who was staring at the scene in bewilderment, scratched his smooth back of the head and muttered.

“Wow… The competition rate is no joke, really. Reincarnation shouldn’t be this difficult.”

I strongly agree.

Me, the frog-human, and the turtle-human momentarily lost our words and blankly stared at where the gate had disappeared.

In front of the gate, people who couldn’t enter by a hair’s breadth were sitting down with dejected expressions.

“Oh my! This time! This time I could have gotten in! If I had been just one step faster!”

Among them, there was someone who was particularly regretful. Wailing sounds echoed loudly as they pounded the ground. Our gazes naturally turned in that direction.

It was a boy. He was small and frail, not even reaching my lower body in height. It was striking how his muscular body, seemingly about to burst, didn’t match his cute facial features.

Suddenly, the frog-human and turtle-human let out sighs simultaneously.

“All three of us failed again…”

“If it weren’t for your interference, I could have made it out this time, Mr. Frog.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. Even our friend who went faster than you is crying his eyes out over there.”

“Ahem…”

In the silence of the plaza that had reached a stalemate, I quietly let out a hollow laugh.

My gaze kept turning toward the humanoids around.

“Ha. Hahaha…”

The more I looked, the more surreal it felt.

Instead, a deep sense of reality set in.

‘I really… really messed up big time.’

Though I’m not exactly sure, it’s the feeling that I’ve gotten caught up in something tremendous.

Footnotes:

1] Hell Joseon is a satirical term used to describe South Korea’s socioeconomic situation. It’s a reference to the perceived inequality and social stratification in the country. The term has been used since at least 2009, but became more popular around 2015.