The 163,417,413th Soulslike Hero 4

Chapter 4 – The Three Hopeless Brothers

“… Skalo. What’s that?”

I pointed at the map panel floating in the center of the plaza.

Each time a gate appeared, specific coordinates were marked on the map. The marked locations varied greatly depending on the gate.

Skalo glanced at the turtle-human and dwarf boy in the distance before speaking.

“As you can see, it’s a map. They say it’s the continental map of where we’re going.”

“Then those marked coordinates…?”

“Probably where those gates will summon us to.”

“But even if they mark it like that, we don’t know anything about that world. Why bother showing us?”

“Well, that’s…”

Skalo and I turned our heads to the map simultaneously.

Four panels float above the map. They read: Mittelland, Unterland, Marktress, and Dragon Empire Kenain.

They occupy the north, south, east, and west of the continent, seemingly country names. Next to them, a panel indicating capacity numbers blinks.

“I heard it’s related to the difficulty of the testing grounds…”

“Difficulty?”

“Getting in first is always advantageous. That’s what the Ashin said.”

As Skalo finished speaking, a gate emerged. The marked location on the map was ‘Revolutionary City Alec’ in Mittelland. Despite being unfamiliar characters, I could read them naturally. A strange sensation.

Regardless of the name and location, crowds of people rushed toward it again.

“Revolutionary City Alec of Mittelland! Hero capacity 35!”

“Aaaah! It’s me! This time it’s meee!”

The gate quickly sucked up countless people and closed instantly.

Skalo, who was quietly observing, glanced my way.

“Do you remember the location of that revolutionary city?”

“It was slightly towards the northwest.”

“Correct. Let’s keep watching.”

I kept watching the summoning locations of appearing gates as Skalo suggested. Skalo also watched the gates with me, not participating in the chicken race.

His uniquely relaxed atmosphere made it feel like we were in our own world.

“Marktress’ Commander’s Ridge! Capacity 30!”

“Unterland’s Mechanical Arm Battlefield! Hero capacity 40!”

“Dragon Empire Kenain! Port City Sohwang! Capacity is…!”

At some point, my eyes widened. After watching for about ten times… spending dozens of hours by the bonfire, I finally grasped the pattern.

Mittelland in the north.

Marktress in the west.

Unterland in the south.

And Dragon Empire Kenain in the east.

The gates were dropping people in exactly counterclockwise order in each country.

And…

“The summoning locations are spiraling… moving outward?”

“Correct. You have good eye for detail.”

Skalo nodded and stared at me intently. Then he smiled faintly, like pitying an abandoned puppy.

“As you said, the location doesn’t matter much. Even I’m just repeating what I heard from the Ashin. Who knows what’s where in that world.”

“… Ashin? What’s an Ashin?”

“Beings like the woman who called you here. They say they’re servants comparable to gods, hence called Ashin (亞神).” [TL/N: demigods]

“Ah. Shit hair…”

Skalo glanced at the people rushing toward the gates and concluded.

“Anyway, getting in early is absolutely advantageous. They say the difficulty increases astronomically as you go outward. Plus, the rewards for passing the tests differ dramatically.”

“…Ah.”

Finally, I understood why people were so desperately racing to enter the gates first.

And even as I stood dazed by this realization, gates kept appearing endlessly.

“Mittelland, Argon Underground Waterway! Hero capacity 40!”

“Woaaah!”

“Marktress, Plain of Promise! Hero capacity 35!”

“Owaaaaah!”

Crowds swarmed like moths to the gates appearing every few hours. I felt a pat on my back. Of course, it was Skalo.

“Well. Can you just stand there?”

As soon as he finished speaking, Skalo dashed forward. A new gate had already appeared ahead of him, emitting brilliant light.

“Unterland’s Kalterus Prison Ship! Capacity 15!”

I started chasing after Skalo without replying.

“Groaaaah!”

I had already become one of the moths.

* * *

… Well, and.

About 3 months passed like that.

When we first arrived, there were countless people numbering nearly thousands, but the rate of people being replenished was exponentially lower than the rate at which people left through the gates.

Eventually, at some point, no more people were added at all. Inevitably, the number of people here kept decreasing.

Now only a countable number of people remained.

About 16 people. The final dropouts. Loser of losers.

Of course, I’m among them.

Hahaha.

F*ck.

“Haha, friend. Had a good dream today?”

Someone spoke to me as I woke up from a brief nap.

A relaxed-looking middle-aged man with dark green hair hanging long like seaweed. Tall, probably around 2 meters. And a man with horizontally split pupils and a smooth frog-like lower body.

His name is Skalo.

According to himself, he’s 320 years old.

After rubbing shoulders with him for 3 months in this wretched place, we somehow became something like friends. I don’t know if Skalo is adjusting to me, but I was surprised how well I got along with a 320-year-old.

Should I be happy about this?

No, such a connection is nothing but sad.

That old man probably thinks the same way?

“Now there are 16 people. Just 16. Today might finally be the day everyone graduates from this godforsaken place. Don’t be so down, friend. It will be a joyous day!”

Skalo pours out words of encouragement to me as I rub my sleepy eyes. He pats my shoulder while pretending to be composed.

Right. It’s all pretense. Skalo was putting so much force into his hand that my shoulder felt like it would break at any moment. I quickly grabbed his hand that was using my shoulder for a breaking demonstration.

“Aw man. You’re the one who needs to relax. Are we going to war?”

“It is war. War indeed! You may not know, but I’ve been here for 1 year and 6 months. Do you know how I’ve felt during all that countless time! It’s been truly, truly miserable!”

“……”

Skalo appeals to me as if he caught me good.

I can’t say anything when he puts it like that. The time he spent here puts military service to shame.

Even I’m going crazy after just 3 months, but he’s been here for a year and a half. A year and a half. I think it’s a miracle that he hasn’t gone insane and can still hold a proper conversation.

“Private meals! Two applicants! Come get your rations!”

While I was feeling sorry for Skalo, a golem appeared from somewhere, shouting to get people’s attention. It was the sound announcing the once-daily meal time.

Skalo and I got up from our seats with familiar movements.

“Do you know what’s on the menu today, bro?”

“I don’t know.”

“What could it be, bro?”

“Seafood bibim sauce? I hope it’s not that. It was the worst taste in my 320 years of life.”[TL/N: Stir fry.]

“Ah. I agree with that.”

The menu is usually like military mess japchae. No, it is just japchae.[TL/N: Japchae is a Korean stir-fried glass noodle dish.]

The decisive difference is that while you stay hungry no matter how much mess japchae you eat, here one meal can sustain you easily for a week.

That’s why Skalo and I, who diligently eat our daily meal, are considered quite odd here.

“Still, this style of food distribution brings back memories. Reminds me of my mercenary days. Khuhuhu!”

“Really? It reminds me of military service and school lunch time, which I extremely hate…”

“Hmm, is that so? How interesting that we have such different sentiments while eating from the same pot.”

“Nothing interesting about it.”

“Khuhuhu! You’re such a plain friend!”

Everything else is fine, but I wish they’d do something about the overly complicated meal application procedure. It’s ridiculous that eating a meal has more procedures than taking military leave.

“Enjoy your meal, candidates.”

“Ah. Thanks for your hard work.”

The golem hands over the tray with polite speech. I’ve grown fond of this one too after seeing it for so long. I habitually responded before staring down at my tray.

Today’s meal was more Western-style. Never-before-seen stir-fried meat and familiar-looking wheat bread. Plus soup and milk. Even jelly for dessert.

“What are you guys, pigs? Why do you keep eating every single day, what’s wrong with you?”

When we returned to the bonfire with our meals, the opposition started picking a fight as usual.

I was used to it by now and didn’t pay attention, but Skalo put his tray down and immediately approached the man who started the fight.

“Well if it isn’t the old shit bag. You never get tired of this, do you? What’s your problem?”

In front of Skalo’s displeased expression stood a small boy barely reaching 1 meter in height.

His name is Aldcon Growers. Though he looks like a boy, he’s actually a 49-year-old grandpa. What they call a dwarf race. A Dwarf.

I heard about the average lifespan of that race, it’s around 50 years. So he really is a grandpa who’s lived most of his life.

And a real old-fashioned one at that.

“What? You don’t know what my problem is, you old frog?”

“Don’t know, and don’t want to know. Old shit bag.”

“What did you say?!”

“Huh.”

With the food tray and bonfire between them, a fierce war of nerves broke out between the old-fashioned dwarf grandpa and the neighborhood amphibian(?) uncle.

It’s not surprising since it’s like a pre-meal event. I started eating first.

“You’re just here to have fun, aren’t you? Is this camping? This is why you idiots are still stuck here.”

“What about you? You haven’t even done one meal a day, so why are you still here?”

“I-I’m a dwarf, a dwarf! I’m physically at a huge disadvantage, that’s what I’m saying! I’m different from you guys who just lounge around eating lunch boxes!”

At that point, I tapped the edge of my tray a few times with my soup spoon.

Tang tang, at the clear sound, both of their gazes turned toward me. I held out Skalo’s bread.

“Stop fighting uselessly and let’s eat. What good does it do us bickering amongst ourselves? Who’s going to let us out because of that?”

“… Tch.”

“Ahem. Right. I always learn from you.”

Aldcon clicks his tongue with a still displeased face, and Skalo scratches his head as if embarrassed while approaching his tray. I smiled slightly before focusing on my meal again.

… By the way, that dwarf grandpa is also a long-timer who’s been here for almost a year.

The reason he particularly bickers with Skalo is just because they’ve seen each other for too long. In terms of love-hate relationship, they might be closer than with me?

As proof, while cursing under his breath, Aldcon always hovers around Skalo.

They say actions speak louder than words. In short, he’s lonely. That old shit bag grandpa needs someone to talk to too.

‘Of course, the best solution would be to leave this place right now, eliminating the need for a companion.’

You could say it’s a symbiotic relationship that inevitably forms since that’s not possible.

Looking at the inner workings, we have quite a sad relationship.

“Wow. I see you’re having your meal today as well.”

And then a sweet voice that instantly brightened the cold atmosphere rang out. All three of us turned our heads simultaneously.

A mysterious woman with blue hair and silver eyes was approaching us.